Well, it's been quite a minute since I blogged last. The title of this post comes from an ancient Chinese course:
May you live in interesting times.
Which may mean something entirely different to you, if you're a Terry Pratchett fan. Point being, the past few years for me have been very chaotic. Life isn't going to settle down anytime soon, but I feel the need to write so here I am again.
Let me catch you up a bit. I started working at Hobby Lobby in 2017, thus the decline of posts here. My entire energy went into my job. A mistake on my part, not finding the correct work and life balance. You live and learn, right? In early 2020 we both got Covid. Then, on October 1, 2021 I woke up sick again, with extreme fatigue and a low grade fever. I don't feel like I was overly sick but I just had zero energy. I woke up on my grandfather's birthday of October 10 and the fever had finally broken. But then I was looking around our house that night and encountered a new surprise: mold. Everywhere. Long story short, my husband packed up everything we owned which appeared to be OK, said goodbye to the only home we had known for 12 years and moved from Wisconsin back to our native Ohio.
Unfortunately, we moved from one toxic home to another, bouncing from his family to mine until we were able to buy our first home in 2023 (and I'm fairly proud of us for being able to buy a home during this housing crisis on a single income alone.) We learned many valuable lessons over the past few years. I've learned what it's like to live with people with severe mental issues, drug issues - while they hid it well from us previously. I learned the true definition of family - and it has absolutely nothing to do with blood. I learned the hard way, blood family can be the most damaging to your psyche, your mental and physical health. I've cut ties with the people who used to matter the most to me, after I realized they returned my love with unjust criticism, and misunderstanding. After over 12 years, I was a stranger to the people I had grown up with, just as they were strangers to me.
This past year, I've been restoring my personal relationship with God and my savior, Jesus. I was raised Christian, but I've come to see just how far from true Christianity much of my childhood was. I tend to be a very private person, so those thoughts are best left to my daily journals and prayers.
I'm finding my way back home to the home I have longed for, for many years. I'm still unemployed, so I have been focusing on improving my health (I'll just pause here to shout out to Jen Hilman and Upright Health and thank them both for helping me to undo years of pain.)
This blog has, historically, mostly been based on my love of nail polish, and beauty in general. While I still love those things, I can't imagine blogging about them anytime soon or at least not as the main focus. I may go back to reviewing books again, I've been playing around with that idea. I'm not sure yet, but mostly I just need to write for my own well being. I spend most of my time these days cooking, trying new recipes, and focusing on self improvement... I'm trying to nurture my creative side more so I'm trying to write again, and also to get back into drawing, something I haven't done in too many years.
I started gardening this past year, so I'm currently thinking I will begin to write about that process soon - my lessons, experiences, etc. I have a few ideas to get started so one step at a time.
For now, I'm here. I've been struggling to get back to some form of normalcy the past few years but hope for better things in the future.
See you there :)
