Monday, June 17, 2013

I'm angry.

I have nothing to disclose, blah blah blah :P

I haven't posted anything in a week and here's why.  On June 1st, we got our cat Sidney. For the past week, he's been pretty sick and I've been dealing with taking care of him and trying to get him better. I barely slept at all this past week. Finally, Saturday he died. Fortunately he passed away quietly and hopefully with no pain but knowing he was loved.

I'm sad, hurt, lonely and angry. We literally only had him for 2 weeks. We don't know for certain exactly how old he was, but he died having lived a long life. I'm just so angry that I've been wanting a cat for so many years and we finally get one and this happens. I just want my happy, playful, friendly fat cat back. He was one of the friendliest, nicest cats I've had and I'm heartbroken that I didn't have more time with him.

I'm REALLY struggling not to be depressed right now. It's really easy when these types of things happen.. the problem with my medical problems is that I struggle all the time just for a little piece of normalcy and it always seems like whenever I'm happy for just a little while, it gets taken away from me. I really thought things were going to change for once. I suppose things have, because in part this has inspired us to do just about anything to get out of our apartment and find a new place to live as soon as possible. Fortunately, Sidney taught me an invaluable lesson: I need to stop telling myself I can't. I can do just about anything as long as I put my mind to it. I finally realized that it really doesn't matter if I'm in complete agony all the time - if I'm going to be miserable, I might as well be doing something to help improve my life or I might as well be hanging out with family instead of just sitting in my house all alone. Either way I'm going to be miserable, but at least with being with family I won't be alone which makes things even worse. Thank you Sidney for helping me figure out how to get some of my life back.

Rest in peace now, little Sidney. I love you and miss you very much!

So anyway, that's what's going on with me... I do have a ton of nail stuff to review over the next few weeks and I should be getting more some time this week, yay!

Thanks for reading :)


  1. I am so sorry for your loss. As a great cats lover and someone who had two cats die in my arms, I sympathise and empathise with you. Just please pleas pleas don't be depressed. It is hard but it gets better in time.

  2. *hugs*
    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  3. Ahhhwww honey! I was wondering where you were, I was missing you on FB but now I completely understand. It's so hard to lose a pet, after two weeks you can get so attached to them. Even love them with all of your heart. I got physically sick when my Merlin died back in October.

    You mentioned moving? Is your apartment getting too small for your huge polish stash? ;-)

    1. thanks again. I've missed talking to you on FB too.

      We hate it here.. and it turns out we have black mold which shouldn't have effected Sidney because he wasn't around it long enough but it probably would have killed him eventually had he lived longer. It's probably making us sick, also. Mostly we're just sick of our stupid neighbors and not being able to do anything in our own yard because of them.